I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
