What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
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