So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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