I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
