I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize