my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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