is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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