I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
