what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
