can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
