and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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