You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize