I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
