your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
