Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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