Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He did a backflip because drugs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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