before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
