i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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