omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
operation have a gay friend backfired
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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