I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
