Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
