Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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