I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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