Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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