I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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