The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
