Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
