Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
50% drunk capacity currently
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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