Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize