I got chris browned last night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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