my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
only if we run a train.
done.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
