I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
