Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
