Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
