I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize