i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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