I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
