last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There's a naked man in my car right now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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