It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize