To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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