i just wanna soil my oats bro
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
