Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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