I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
