we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
