Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
