there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
