Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
