who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
