I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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