White coat. Heels.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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