you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
