a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
