just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
