i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
