At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
