watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize