nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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