a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
