There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
