In the future we'll all be gay
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
