like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
