Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
