She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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