i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do vagina's smell?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
