we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
