the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize